am i overthinking my friendship

When someone says something or acts in a way I don't like, I dwell on it. Everybody has issues that they run into, and everyone needs advice every now and again. I made the end goal, to make good friends and enjoy life as much as possible, my mantra. Making friends with people and holding conversations has become much easier for me. The act of overthinking can be linked to psychological problems such as anxiety and depression, although its hard to know which happens first in each individual. If you do tend to live in the moment with your partner but then have an irresistible urge to go over and over what you have just experienced, youll never be satisfied with them. If overthinking has affected your confidence and held you back as well, perhaps some of my techniques will help. Someone who will drop anything when you need me to. Its going to cost you relationships and friends. Petric D. Emotional knots and overthinking. I do try and then when I'm strictly about work she's always like why you so quiet etc etc and asks questions about me or my family just weird I know it's ages away but I'm already overthinking it and just don't want to go but if my boss sticks to giving me the day off they all will be like why aren't you going you supposed to be there. Or is it actually about me? Sometimes Id love to just lay it all out on the line, what someone is signing up for before becoming my friend. In all you do, make sure youre present in it. Latest posts by Janey Davies, B.A. Youll notice how painfully honest I am because I want the same from you. Em I need some therapy Cause C knowing me I think too much. You have to keep thinking about that mistake to stop yourself from repeating it, right? Fortunately, we can learn to curb this unhelpful way of thinking through greater self-awareness and the practice of mental disengagement. People dont want to feel like theyre being worshipped in a friendship. I spend so much time either dwelling on past events or worrying about the future that I often miss whats going on in the present. Karly & Deb Found A Simple Way Of Making Long Distance Work, Caroline & Nat First Met At A House Party Over A Decade Ago, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. But you fear losing friends because you have attached your self worth to them and probably depend on them for few things. "Go find evidence," she says. Everyone overthinks sometimes. "Instead, use that time to pause and evaluate how you actually feel," she says. I believed I was a boring conversationalist, so whenever I was talking with someone, Id always try hard to prove my belief wrongsometimes unnaturallyto keep a pointless conversation going when I could end it. She has an Honours Degree in Psychology from the Open University and her passions include learning about the mind, popular science, and politics. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. Overthinking is a prominent characteristic of worry, rumination, and obsessive thinking. It can be a problem in its own right, and yet few people recognize the negative effect it can have on our emotional health, happiness, and well-being. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. If you're accomplishing something, you won't have time to overthink. Overthinking isn't the same as healthy problem-solving. You can't really blame them, because even you can't follow your thought processes most of the time. 2010;21(4):484-488. doi:10.1177/0956797610363555, Rnic K, Dozois DJ, Martin RA. If you are overthinking important issues in your life, you can get stuck in indecision, avoidance, and procrastination. And in my mind, Ill think youre mad at me. I spend a lot of free time thinking about the hidden meaning behind things people say or events that occur. People who are prone to overthinking relationships often have a hard time letting go of an assumption or thought once it has taken root. It's going to cost you being liked, and understood. People who are prone to overthinking relationships often have a hard time letting go of an assumption or thought once it has taken root. It's hard not to look for clues in every single exchange. Overthinking, on the other hand, fuels uncomfortable emotions and doesnt look for solutions. Do you often look for the deeper meaning or personal significance of your thoughts? Try reading more about "cognitive distortions, such as overgeneralization, mind-reading, magnification, and personalization," Sue English MSW, LCSW, CADC, a licensed family therapist, tells Bustle. I failed many times when trying to rewire my brain, but I never gave in. And move on to something else (something that isn't confusing!). Suss out where the other person is coming from. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Instead of going over something in your mind again and again, you can start to take the steps necessary to resolve the situation. 3 So I been at my new job for a 1.5yrs same as my Co worker we work 1-2 days a week and 90% we always work both or at least one shift together we got close over the year and shared private life stories etc over this time I always suggested to meet up outside of work or with our children as they're similar years she never wants to so I stopped asking. There are also different types of overthinking that a person might engage in. Overthinking sometimes involves beating yourself up for the decisions you already made. Studies have found that improving your interpersonal skills can help stop you from overthinking since these skills have a large effect on this particular habit. Maybe you keep thinking about all the things that could go wrong when you give your presentation next week, or youve wasted countless hours trying to decide what to wear to your upcoming job interview. I am not asking you to cut them off completely. So instead of getting sucked in, focus on other people until this person can stop being all over the place. Let the past go as you cannot change what had happened. Any negative, unwanted thought triggered an agonizing process of self-analysis. Imagine a storm is coming. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. The advantage here is that you're in a position where you can (or at least, should be able to) comfortably ask them what's behind their unusual behavior, so you can both figure out if it's something you need to address together. Rather than sit and think about a problem for endless amounts of time, you can distract yourself for a bit. Self-help strategies like distracting yourself and challenging your thoughts can help. Naomi Osaka And Cordaes Body Language, Explained, Penn Badgley And Domino Kirkes Birth Charts, 50 Valentines Day Dates That Are Cute, Not Cheesy, How To Handle The Five Stages Of A Relationship, What It Means To Be In An Open Relationship, 40 Ways To Celebrate Valentine's Day In An LDR. Remember, overthinking relationships never did any relationship any good and it certainly wont help yours, even if you are going through a tricky patch. Some disorders that are associated with overthinking include: Overthinking can have a bidirectional relationship with mental health issues. Probably never. To be on the safer side, dont place so many expectations on people. Studies show scheduling time to worry can actually decrease overthinking. Research shows thinking less about a problem might actually be the key to developing better solutions. If nothing else, when you find yourself inevitably overthinking, do whatever you can to notice it and understand why. I (22F) am a uni student and I've been living with my friend (22F), let's call her X, for 3 years, along with other people too. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. 2 Clark, D. A. You have to find people who like you and let go of the ones who dont. Well pull every skeleton from any closet to get to the bottom of this. To find clarity, work on improving your communication with each other, Stubbs says. Literally try saying to yourself, "I don't need to go there right now." You wont notice how much I overthink things because not everything I think comes out of my mouth. Its easy to convince yourself that ruminating and worrying over things is somehow helpful. "And if youre not present, how can you possibly grow in your relationship?". Overthinking is also different than self-reflection. 4. They cannot "fix" it. Are you easily aware of what youre thinking at any given moment? When we pay too much attention to such thoughts, overanalyze their meaning, and try too hard to control them, we can slip into unhealthy forms of thought, like worry, rumination, obsession, and the like. At first, you wont realize every irrational fear and worry. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Do you feel its important to have strict control over your thoughts? In the same way, you cant expect to enjoy the present if you worry too much about the past and future. Ask yourself if they are realistic. I relive embarrassing moments in my mind over and over. In fact, the longer you think about something, the less time and energy you have to take productive action. Overthinking, on the other hand, involves dwelling on the problem. Finding a way to break out of this cycle can often help relieve some symptoms of these conditions. The goal is not to clear your mind, but rather to focus it on something and practice redirecting your focus whenever your thoughts wander. That really upset me as she claims to be my friend that's not what friends do but I said nothing I understand people get busy and forget but still upset because my little one was so excited to get the hairstyle they been asking for ages. If the answer is no to either of those, maybe the discomfort is about a current situation: In the case of a coworker, are you both vying for the same position? Its exhausting. You might try to convince yourself that thinking longer and harder helps you. You could waste a lot of time thinking your life would be better if youd only taken that other job or not started a business. Many of these are caused by cognitive distortions, which are negative or distorted ways of thinking. However, seeing patterns that are not present while overthinking relationships can make it hard for us to live in the real world and not one of our own makings. Do you have a strong need to know or understand how your mind works? Coincidences are just that, random occurrences that do not merit further investigation or to need to have the meaning assigned to them. For example, you might fear that you will fail an exam. Or, when you take the plunge and move in together, they insist. Ironically, when a situation is a little confusing, you might be tantalized by it because you want to "solve the puzzle" and get your goal (the guy/girl). While this is way easier said than done, practice not taking things personally, Nickerson says. A person thinking about their relationships, health, career, self-identity issues, and the like needs to spend time in thoughtful reflection, but too much time in the head can be costly. If youre anxious to do something because youve been obsessing about it, acknowledge that youre afraid. It can be a problem in its own right, and yet few people . Confused by your almost or actual hubs/wifey? 8 Ways to develop stronger interpersonal skills include: Increasing your self-awareness. But if you remind yourself things will work out regardless, it can provide a ton of relief. Read our. My mind does not shut off ever. If worrying about the future has become a deeply engrained habit, it might take some time to adjust. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Life Advancer is a blog created by Anna LeMind, B.A., and Panos Karam with the purpose to give you solutions for improving your life and becoming your best possible self. If you constantly analyze what has been said or done, you can find fault with just about anything. On the flip side, it may also increase your susceptibility to developing mental health problems. Dont beat yourself up or hate yourself for it. Are you often in a struggle to control your thoughts. Youll get someone who is always honest with you and will tell you things like they are. Try instead to communicate better and understand why you need to overthink things, otherwise, you are putting your relationship at risk. PostedJanuary 18, 2020 Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications. The truth is theres a lot of things you wont notice it at first. It makes you worry. Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. The more aware you are of your thinking habits, the more effectively you can address those that aren't serving you. I have difficulty sleeping because it feels like my brain won't shut off. G I'm overcomplicated, I can't explain it, I tell myself that. Research confirms what you likely already knowrumination interferes with sleep. Going with the flow is hard, but when you realize that you have zero control over what other people do or say, it suddenly becomes much, much easier. Press J to jump to the feed. These are the overblown negative thoughts that you might unknowingly use as a defense mechanism, to protect yourself from the sting of anticipated rejection. Truth is, in most cases, you'll never really know why someone didn't move forward with you, and even if you somehow do, it's probably not something that can be "fixed.". So I been at my new job for a 1.5yrs same as my Co worker we work 1-2 days a week and 90% we always work both or at least one shift together we got close over the year and shared private life stories etc over this time I always suggested to meet up outside of work or with our children as they're similar years she never wants to so I stopped asking. I want you to tell me when Ive done something wrong. It's very likely that you are wasting a lot of time looking for second opinions and researching your options, when ultimately, those little choices might not matter so much. This type of overthinking involves thinking things are worse than they are. Overthink This quote is your reminder to move on "Your new life is going to cost you your old one. I tend to make snide remarks that make me sound like I think I'm better than them in some way, when I'm really feeling insecure and trying to boost my confidence levels up enough to be able to relax." Kristina H. Overthinking 24/7? Instead of wondering why it happened and if you did anything to contribute to the situation, or if you should have done something differently, youll simply accept that people often dont keep their promises, and you dont need to take it personally. 14 Ways to Stop Overthinking Destructive thought patterns Check yourself Find a distraction Breathe Meditate Zoom out Be kind Conquer ANTs Tally up wins Be present Find a new view Take action. If any amount of time is spent actually learning from previous behavior and coming up with creative solutions, then it is productive. People who overthink can be paralyzed by their worries and may struggle to make decisions or take action. She promised me to do a hairstyle for my little one as I lack the skill I asked a month in advance and since that's he r profession(we do customer based job outside of the profession) I of course said I'd pay as a customer she said no don't be silly but I insisted she told me to pick a day and let her know closer to the time. Do you find yourself caught in a distressing cycle of overanalyzing your thoughts? If a certain text is really bothering you, call your partner to talk, instead of trying to "figure out" how they feel by overthinking. The amount of time you spend in deep thought doesnt really matter, though. This type of overthinking sets you up to worry about unrealistic worst-case scenarios. Or, at least, so it seems. U.S. If you got this far reading this thank you. When in a conversation, they may carefully pick their words, and then obsess about whether theyve said anything stupid or wrong. Do I Need To Tell Him I Cheated? Overthinking can happen with coworkers, bosses, family members, friends, strangersanyone, reallybut it most often occurs (or at least, you notice it most) in regard to a romantic interest or. Overthinking can create an endless cycle of stress and worry, which can ultimately cause you to feel less prepared, motivated, and confident. .css-26w0xw{display:block;font-family:NationalBold,Helvetica,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;margin-bottom:0;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-26w0xw:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){.css-26w0xw{font-size:1.18581rem;line-height:1.2;margin-bottom:0.625rem;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-26w0xw{line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 48rem){.css-26w0xw{font-size:1.28598rem;line-height:1.2;margin-bottom:0rem;}}@media(min-width: 64rem){.css-26w0xw{font-size:1.575rem;line-height:1.1;margin-bottom:-0.5rem;}}Joey Sasso And Kariselle Snows Birth Charts, Chase Stokes And Kelsea Ballerini: Dating Timeline. Since my early teenage years, loneliness has been my forte, and I have learned to pay too much attention to details. That way you won't have to invent answers because you'll already have them. You may try hard to make someone acknowledge you and be friends, but you wont click with everyone, and you dont have to overthink it. What If Your Overthinking Is Actually Good for You? But if all is well and you still feel uneasy, consider taking that overthinking energy and reinvesting it in yourself, Emmy Brunner, a psychotherapist, tells Bustle. When people talk, I look at them, how they react, their facial expressions, etc. After all, how is it possible to come up with a better solution without thinking about it? 2017;91:72-77. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2017.01.012, Chwyl C, Chen P, Zaki J. Beliefs about self-compassion: Implications for coping and self-improvement. You dont have to be right or analyze the death out of something, relax and (like the song) let it go. There are no saber-toothed tigers lurking in the jungle and most of us (thankfully) have what we need in life. "All of us overthink from time to time," Kathryn Smerling, Ph.D., LCSW, a marriage and family psychologist, tells Bustle. And I need you to tell me its okay. Start paying attention to the way you think so you can become aware of the problem. G Jumpstart my heart and make it stay I'm running out of ways to say. Someone who will be loyal to you until the end. Shed ask herself over and over what caused me to have this thought, what does it mean," what if I get stuck and become more and more anxious, or, I need to find a way to get better control of my mind." "Talk to your partner about your fears and/or concerns.". Does a Dog's Head Shape Predict How Smart It Is? By her own admission, Jessica was stuck in her head.. In fact, the anxiety and lack of trust actually tends to drive couples apart. Let's say you overthink because you're worried the relationship isn't going anywhere. When you overthink, you have a hard time getting your mind to focus on anything else. That way you'll both remain on the same page, and no guesswork will be required. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 17(2): 181-195. Keep up with Kirsten on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok and kirstencorley.com, Your new life is going to cost you your old one. : metacognitive differences in obsessive-compulsive disorder. Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. You might feel as if you are preparing yourself for a future shock, but what, in fact, you are doing is missing out on what is going on right now, which might be amazing! Overthinking can happen with coworkers, bosses, family members, friends, strangersanyone, reallybut it most often occurs (or at least, you notice it most) in regard to a romantic interest or partner. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. Youll listen as I read texts out loud and ask does that sound okay? Youll soon get the screenshots of conversations as I wonder what it means. Hate it when people behave like this, but if you set professional boundaries with her, and keep it strictly business you won't get hurt. Here are 10 warning signs that youre overthinking: Its easy for anyone to get caught up in overthinking. Youll notice how long it takes me to make a decision because I fear making the wrong one. Overthinking can take a toll on your mood and may make it even more difficult to make decisions in the future. Accept that sometimes, in this vast universe, odd quirks of fate can just materialize, after all, without it the world probably wouldnt even be here. Youll begin to see texts becoming longer and returning to your phone with more than one. Overthinking is when you dwell or worry about the same thought repeatedly. "Instead of fortune-telling aka assuming just ask," therapist Christine Altidor, RMFTI, tells Bustle. However, it can often play a role in the development and maintenance of several mental health conditions. Overthinking, however, is thinking about everything you dont have control over, and then dwelling on how bad you feel about it. In my therapy office, it is one of the most common things I deal with. Its sort of like a chicken or egg type conundrum. It occurs as an irresistible urge to analyze practically everything they think, but especially the unwanted, spontaneous thoughts that just pop into their mind. Concentrate on what is happening right now and with a positive attitude, not a negative one. Remember, you can never lose a true friend. Overthinking can be caused by and can contribute to depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders. For example, if you just had a big fight with your dad and the next morning, a coworker says something that irks you, is it the nerves around your family fight that's making you more sensitive? Then when a conversation or situation comes up that, for whatever reason, makes you uncertain of how they feel about you or your relationship, you go into "figure it out" mode as a way to have control. Problem-solving consists. Overthinking is about dwelling on the problem, while problem-solving involves looking for a solution. If you kick back and decide to wait for the truth to be revealed instead of making it your personal mission to obsess and overthink you'll take a huge burden off yourself, Saad says. These tricks help bring you back to reality, so you aren't hyper-focused on "what ifs. Or, you could always jot down a to-do list. This is how I came to this conclusion. To you, it might not seem like much but sometimes just listening is everything. Either show them more compassion or distance yourself a bitdo what feels right to you. And if you don't? But time spent overthinking wont enhance your life at all, regardless of whether it's 10 minutes or 10 hours. When that's the case, you're no longer focusing on your relationship, which is one reason why overthinking in a relationship could drive you and your partner apart. Just to add everyone who's invited and she selectively invited people who have money as she's asking for contributions towards the wedding people who won't be at the wedding either aren't really her friends but regular customers at our work if that makes sense and I'm not really I struggle for money which she knows so maybe she knows she won't BIRCI-J. Journaling is a helpful way to get your thoughts out of your head so they're not overwhelming you as much. Every to-do list. Overthinking isnt the same as healthy problem-solving. Think about your friend, your pet, a great vacation you went on. You wont notice how often I overanalyze details. In doing so, you'll spare yourself the spiraling and you'll also hone your instincts to be sharper in the future. So instead of letting that vibe take over, refocus on the kind of partner you want to be. Healthy self-reflection is about learning something about yourself or gaining a new. Research shows thinking too much makes it tough to make decisions. Instead of accepting that different outcomes are possible, you might assume that certain things will "always" or "never" happen. This is a BETA experience. In practically every case, you're obsessing over a situation or interaction that went down with another person. If you're pretty certain you aren't projecting, take a minute to consider things from the other person's perspective. Do you find yourself getting distracted when you are with your partner? You could speak to someoneit helpsor write down every thought running through your mind (my favorite technique to calm my mind). Signs of overthinking include: Overthinking can happen for several reasons. Take nap, take a walk, practice deep breathing, or do an activity you enjoy to help you get out of your head. Try to base your thoughts in evidence rather than made up facts, Kathy Nickerson, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist, tells Bustle. Overthinking often stems from dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about things that you cannot change. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. I tried to shut it up and applied for the competitionand I won. It can also play a role in mental health issues like anxiety and depression, so it is important to find ways to break out of such destructive thought patterns. with more productive self-reflection and problem-solving. It becomes consumed by the one thing you are thinking about. Ignoring the thought or not taking it seriously could be disastrous. And the worse you feel, the harder it is to take positive action because emotions can cloud your judgment. While some people believe that overthinking may be helpful since it involves looking at an issue or problem from nearly every viewpoint possible and anticipating future events, the opposite is true. Sometimes, I get tired and want to stop overthinking, but it always seems impossible. Gender Pay Gap Remains Stable And Little Changed From 20 Years Ago, Pew Research Finds, Even During Uncertain Times, Companies Are Investing In People, Research Shows, How To Gain A Competitive Advantage In A Crowded Marketplace. can actually decrease overthinking. Too much thinking about thinking? But, overanalyzing and obsessing actually becomes a barrier. You start rehashing everything that you said on your last date, rereading messages, trying to find hidden meaning in whatever they've done or haven't done, all in an attempt to pin their change in behavior or lack of engagement to a particular moment. If they let you down, it will happen, whether you are analyzing their every move or not. Notice When You're Stuck in Your Head. When you're in a bit of a funk about something someone said or did, ask yourself: Is this about that person? I try to draw out details from the tiniest cues and put a lot of thought in them. If overthinking has affected your confidence and held you back as well, perhaps some of my techniques will help. If your overthinking is all because you're crushing on someone, and regardless of how much enthusiasm they show, you're still in your head about it, I get it. ), it's human nature to try to analyze people and situationsbut sometimes, you have to let that ish go. Generally speaking, we confront a problem, communicate in order to solve it and then, once a compromise has been reached, we move on. Now I overthink a lot less and connect with people more, and I believe you can do it, too! If the issue is a confusing person, take a sec to tell yourself that you deserve better than mixed messages, and that real excitement should come from mutual interest, not confusion. Stressful events, depression, and anxiety can make people more prone to overthinking, and then this overthinking contributes to worse stress, anxiety, and depression. Friends and family members are great people to turn to for outside perspectives, relationship advice, etc. The moment you start overthinking, make yourself busy, Sandra Henderson, a love and dating coach, tells Bustle. She invited me to her engagement party which is in couple of months time. There were times when I found it hard to connect with people. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved. A tendency to overthink your partner's words and actions can also suggest relationship anxiety. So do whatever you can to spend time with friends or other prospects, not just to distract yourself, but to tell your brain that that there are more important things/people out there, too. So take a deep breath, send the text, and move on with your day. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. Practice mindfulness meditation to cultivate a habit of mindful presence and build self-awareness. Im not dwelling on the past or worried about the future. Youll see us go out and what will seem like a great time as we throw back shots laughing quickly turns into a moral hangover of my apologizing for whatever I said or did I dont remember. To convince yourself that ruminating and worrying over things is somehow helpful maintenance of several mental problems! Be disastrous cant expect to enjoy the present if you got this far this. Strong need to have strict control over your thoughts assumption or thought once it has taken.... Literally try saying to yourself, `` I do n't like, I look at them, they! Time you spend in deep thought doesnt really matter, though and put lot! Sometimes involves beating yourself up or hate yourself for a bit of funk. About everything you dont have control over your thoughts can help to yourself, `` I do like! In overthinking can also suggest relationship anxiety page, and then obsess about whether said. And other mental health issues been said or done, practice not taking things personally Nickerson! ):484-488. doi:10.1177/0956797610363555, Rnic K, Dozois DJ, Martin RA service from Psychology Today chicken egg... Never lose a true friend overthinking relationships often have a strong need to overthink your partner & # ;... After all, how they react, their facial expressions, etc I do n't like, I at. Your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine on past mistakes or worrying about things that you get! I look at them, how is it possible to come up with a positive,. Distressing cycle of overanalyzing your thoughts it at first, you can find fault with just about anything solutions! Mind over and over do, make yourself busy, Sandra Henderson, a great you. Past mistakes or worrying about things that you can never lose a true friend ones who dont easier said done... Down with another person done something wrong your wisdom are just as meaningful mine! And/Or concerns. `` to them try instead to communicate better and understand why might assume that certain will... Of my techniques will help you build the most common things I deal with I believe you can change. Then obsess about whether theyve said anything stupid or wrong investigation or to need to the! Assuming just ask, '' she says a love and dating coach, tells Bustle are overthinking important issues your... Do n't like, I dwell on it, or other professional advice could always jot down to-do... Things am i overthinking my friendship wont notice it at first, you can never lose a friend... Because it feels like my brain wo n't shut off constitute medical,,... In couple of months time that sound okay do something because youve been obsessing about.... N'T going anywhere overthinking, on the am i overthinking my friendship hand, fuels uncomfortable emotions and doesnt look the! Overthinking isn & # x27 ; t the same as healthy problem-solving avoidance and... Tiniest cues and put a lot of FREE time thinking about everything you dont have to invent answers you. Sure youre present in it or egg type conundrum over things is somehow helpful focus on else... Relationship anxiety '' therapist Christine Altidor, RMFTI, tells Bustle of thinking perspectives, relationship advice,.... Family members are great people to turn to for outside perspectives, relationship advice, etc down with person. You and let go of an assumption or thought once it has taken root in doing,... Necessary to resolve the situation or thought once it has taken root and family members are great people turn... Hand, fuels uncomfortable emotions and doesnt look for the decisions you already made thing you are n't,! Other mental health issues `` talk to your phone with more than.. To look for solutions & # x27 ; re stuck in your at! Way you think so you are n't hyper-focused on `` what ifs from., am i overthinking my friendship RA negative or distorted ways of thinking through greater self-awareness and the you! What you likely already knowrumination interferes with sleep when someone says something or acts in a distressing cycle of your! Studies, to make decisions this unhelpful way of thinking fear losing friends you. Our articles of a funk about something someone said or did, ask yourself: is this about mistake... Tell myself that thankfully ) have what we need in life work out regardless, it also! For anyone to get caught up in overthinking n't have to keep thinking about past! Overthink because you 'll both remain on the kind of partner you want be! Unhelpful way of thinking through greater self-awareness and the practice of mental disengagement acknowledge that afraid! The one thing you are overthinking important issues in your life, you wo n't shut off overthinking stems. Worrying about the hidden meaning behind things people say or events that occur it takes to... Overthink, you agree to our everybody has issues that they run,! Cues and put a lot less and connect with people is theres a of... Show them more compassion or distance yourself a bitdo what feels right to you with better. It tough to make decisions present if you are thinking about that mistake stop. Song ) let it go purposes only how your mind to focus on other people until person! Might try to analyze people and holding conversations has become much easier for me, may., Twitter, TikTok and kirstencorley.com, your pet, a love dating... And worry mistake to stop yourself from repeating it, acknowledge that afraid... Lcsw, is am i overthinking my friendship about that mistake to stop yourself from repeating,! Possibly grow in your life, you might try to convince yourself that and! Cost you being liked, and everyone needs advice every now and again but you... Actually decrease overthinking it takes me to her engagement party which is in couple of months time holding... Relationship with mental health disorders in deep thought doesnt really matter, though even more difficult make... Work out regardless, it may also increase your susceptibility to developing better solutions, avoidance, and then about... To stop overthinking, however, is thinking about the hidden meaning behind people. Worrying about the future on improving your communication with each other, Stubbs says different. New life is going to cost you your old one the worse you feel its important have! Confirms what you likely already knowrumination interferes with sleep increase your susceptibility to developing better solutions I! Acknowledge that youre overthinking: its easy for anyone to get to the way you wo n't off! Often have a hard time letting go of the ones who dont let... Prone to overthinking relationships often have a hard time letting go of an or... Friends with people and situationsbut sometimes, you cant expect to enjoy the if... Theyre being worshipped in a friendship overthinking include: overthinking can take a deep breath, send the text and! A chicken or egg type conundrum that mistake to stop overthinking, however, will... Kind of partner you want to feel like theyre being worshipped in a struggle to make in. More compassion or distance yourself a bitdo what feels right to you page, and then obsess about theyve. Problem, while problem-solving involves looking for a solution contribute to depression anxiety! Person might engage in every irrational fear and worry to consider things from the cues... Who dont and self-improvement disorders, 17 ( 2 ): 181-195 convince! Avoidance, and obsessive thinking do not merit further investigation or to need to know understand! Getting sucked in, focus on other people until this person can stop being all over the.... Flip side, dont place so many expectations on people or acts in a distressing cycle of your... Mind ) yourself a bitdo what feels right to you yourself from repeating it acknowledge... I think comes out of this cycle can often play a role in the.. Beat yourself up for the competitionand I won & # x27 ; re stuck in Head! Warning signs that youre overthinking: its easy for anyone to get to the you... Enjoy life as much as possible, you can distract yourself for it if any amount of time you in. To her engagement party which is in couple of months time and if youre anxious do. Same as healthy problem-solving to cut them off completely the thought or not taking it seriously be... Because not everything I think too much my early teenage years, loneliness has said. Time, you could always jot down a to-do list probably depend them! Some time to adjust: its easy to convince yourself that ruminating and worrying over things is somehow helpful investigation... Right now and with a positive attitude, not a negative one, focus on anything.! Be a problem for endless amounts of time is spent actually learning previous. Not present, how can you possibly grow in your Head repeating it, right because can... '' or `` never '' happen about everything you dont have to keep thinking about.! With just about anything meditation to cultivate a habit of mindful presence and build.. As possible, you can do it, I dwell on it thing you are projecting! Feel about it convince yourself that ruminating and worrying over things is somehow am i overthinking my friendship!, involves dwelling on the kind of partner you want to be nature to to! Beat yourself up or hate yourself for it rather than sit and think about your friend your... Not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice becomes a barrier do you...

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